'I Plead the Fifth' by Fowchee's Owchies

A country song for a man whose diary talks more than he does.

Five years of “trust the science” officially ended last week “on the advice of counsel”. The Fowchster pleaded the Fifth a mind-numbing 111 times. Eleven times would have been bad. But he went 100 beyond, refusing even to answer questions like What year is this? or What day of the week is it? Best guess is he may need a different sort of fifth to take the edge off a day like that.

But let’s be perfectly honest with each other for a moment…

No one who read RFK’s book, The Real Anthony Fauci, has been the least bit surprised by his perpetual struggles with the truth and ongoing courtroom fiascos. Although plenty more books will be written about the Fowch — and to be sure, none of them will be flattering — two specific facts stood out from hearing…

• The Million Dollar “Science” Prize: Fowch was pushing his own NIH crew to enrich himself. Akin to a 6th grader’s quest to become class president… “Will you nominate me? I’ll write up my nominating background for you, and then you nominate me.” NIH big wigs serving as his personal awards managers. So it’s not surprising he won. And then… My senator, Josh Hawley, kicked the everloving fizzlespit out of him on live TV when he read to the tens of millions of viewers the federal statute barring government employees from using staff, offices, or email / calls / texts to solicit cash awards for themselves. Whoops.

Fifth.

• The Blood Clot & Pulmonary Infarct: Was Fowch’s infarct (tissue death and scarring caused by pulmonary embolisms) related to his jab? You tell me. I asked Gemini how many articles there were on the worldwide web referring to the COVID jab as the “clot shot”. Its answer… Millions (study, study, a website devoted to this topic, article, video, too many others to list…). I then asked who coined the term. It didn’t know but stated that the phrase “emerged in early-mid 2021, shortly after the widespread rollout of COVID-19 vaccines.” Not surprisingly, it forgot to mention the part about “adverse events”. Fowch visited his doctor with chest pain and SOB on June 17. Think about it… Less than six months post-Moderna, the most trusted physician on earth was clandestinely treated for the very issue the Moderna is best known for. All while continuing to tell you and me and our families that “vaccine hesitancy” was the real danger.

Fifth.

While discussing this with my office manager during lunch yesterday, the idea popped into my head to make a song about it. So, using ChatGPT and a program called Suno, I set out to write, in the words of the late David Allan Coe, the perfect Country & Western song. Not about mama. Trains. Trucks. Or getting drunk (although ‘prison’ might be on the table). But about Fowch pleading the Fifth.

Speaking of the perfect Country & Western song, someone from our community recently won American Idol (and already played the Grand Ole Opry — twice). Congratulations, Hannah and fam! Or in the words of the crew from HeeHaw, Salute!

In an odd but related coincidence, our alternator recently went out on our 2014 Honda minivan while traveling from the St. Louis area back to Mountain View. No big deal except we were in the middle of nowhere, with my mother-in-law, who happens to be on oxygen, on a 100-degree day, with 100% humidity. No power. No air. No town nearby. Gulp!

While I’m running around trying to figure out what mile marker we were at, my incredibly calm, cool, and collected (and beautiful) wife made a phone call. Danny and Angie Kinnard of 67 Towing saved the day.

When Danny showed up and loaded the women into his personal vehicle, telling us that we could not have broken down in a better spot, he was not kidding — in more ways than one. Not only had our van stranded us only a quarter mile from the driveway of their shop, but they welcomed us into their home until our son-in-law could pick us up. In true Ozark fashion, they treated us like family. We met as strangers and left as friends.

While we were sitting around their kitchen table getting to know each other, I asked Danny about Braden, Hannah Harper’s drummer, and that I had heard he was from the Greenville area.

Danny told me about Braden, revealing that his family knew Braden and the rest of the O’Dells well. I let him know that we had just been to a concert and that I was very impressed with Braden’s talent — and that I was a drummer myself with fifty years behind Pearls, Ludwigs, and Rolands.

Anyway….

As for Danny, Angie, Roger and the crew over at 67 Towing, I can’t say enough good things about them. That day was yet another reminder of God’s amazing providence in our lives as spelled out in Romans 8:28…

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

As to my drumming skills? I would characterize them as good from far, but far from good. And not even remotely in the same league as Braden, who’s smooth, technical, and nuanced. But I am good enough to play with Fowchie’s Owchies…

I give to you the song created in five minutes, yesterday at lunch. It’s surprisingly catchy — be careful, or you’ll get the chorus stuck in your head. I Plead the Fifth (my brand new favorite riff) — Crank it up!